This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
