so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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