I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
