i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
