She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
