Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
