i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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