4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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