David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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