Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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