After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it's like iHOP with fire
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
