Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
