I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
