I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
