Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
