How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize