I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
