she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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