I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
and you fell through a lawn chair
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