just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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