True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Semen is not good for contacts.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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