Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
