Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
