i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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