DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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