I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dear god my vagina.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
