We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
