News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
