i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
