so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
