He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
