OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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