he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
