yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
