using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize