Pappa wants mamma naked
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
