All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
