I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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