Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
