we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
