I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
