I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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