Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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