people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Less talking, more tequila
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
