You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize