I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
