I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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