My hand turned me down
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
