One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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