The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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