i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
