Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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