my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
