I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
