I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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