How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize