found the other keg... it's in the tree
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
