whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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