so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
