Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
